"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable." -Chistopher Reeve

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Screwing around at work...

My job is very important to me. I'm good at it, I enjoy it, and it's the avenue that's going to take me where I want to go, provided I work hard. Why then do I find it so hard to focus on the job and just do it? I spend my day checking my Facebook, Hotmail, MySpace pages just to avoid working. I want to do well, I really do. This is the same conundrum that has held me back for years. Every day I say to myself "This is it. Today's the day that I'm going to kick ass at work." Sometime it works for a day or an hour. I'm constantly looking for news tricks, new ways to motivate myself. It gets better... Slowly... But I'm still not a good enough employee... I just don't work hard enough. Because of this, I'm always wondering what my co-workers are thinking of me. Do they have any idea? Are the judging me? Upset with me? Chances are the answer is no, but that doesn't stop my imagination from conjuring up their disdain and anger. Okay. I'm going to go back to work. I have to pee, but I'm going to try to work consistently from now (2:09) to 2:30 before I even think about gettin up from my desk.

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